Everton F.C. Talk Is Not Cheap

Whilst the annual madness that is the summer transfer window yet again chokes the hope out of Evertonians, the latest installment of a continuing spat between a recently formed supporters group and current CEO Robert Elstone has flown somewhat under the radar.

In short, Evertonians For Change would still like to talk and our egg chasing CEO is having none of it. The reasons given are apparently twofold; firstly Mr Elstone accused Evertonians For Change of "openly seeking to disrupt Club events and having the ousting of the current Board of Directors as one of its explicit aims." Both of these accusations have since been denied by the group.  

Secondly and once again according to Mr Elstone, "the Club works hard on all aspects of communication ensuring we reach as many fans as we can, in a variety of different ways. We are confident our dialogue is open and transparent, our engagement with fans is representative and our agendas are relevant. We believe we do a good job."

CEO

As is par for the course with most things EFC, a view from a safe distance displays a pro-active club, one that seeks both a meaningful and earnest club/supporter relationship. As the man says; "dialogue is open and transparent, our engagement with fans is representative and our agendas are relevant."

Yes, a quick scratch of the surface reveals numerous initiatives in which the club strive to meet the demands of interested supporters. Within the last twelve months alone there has been a roadshow, a fan's forum and an exclusive Fans Conference. The club has been mobilised to reach out to supporters, doing their bit to ensure an openness and transparency not seen since the banning of AGMs and EGMs.

I mean we are only the fans, giving up our very hard-earned money and time and as many an Evertonian will tell you; a professional football club and private company such as Everton FC are simply under no obligation to communicate with its loyal supporters.

Well, actually they'd be wrong. It turns out those supporters who felt a manipulative edge to the rather clandestine and secretive, recently implemented fans forum, fans conference and roadshow had it right all along. Not only will Everton FC be required to communicate with supporters, refusal to do so will see the club failing to meet the UEFA licensing requirements and the occurrence of  penalties this football club could ill afford.

From UEFA: Under Article 35 of the new UEFA Club Licensing and Financial Fair Play Regulations, clubs will have the obligation to appoint a Supporters Liason Officer (SLO) to ensure a proper and constructive dialogue between a club and its fans.

The SLO concept, which has been under consideration for some time, has gained full approval from the national associations represented in the UEFA Club Licensing Committee and has been drawn up with the strong cooperation of Supporters Direct.

Supporter liaison officers at clubs already exist in a limited number of European countries and primarily help improve the dialogue between the fans and the clubs they follow. Most importantly, SLOs must be credible with supporters, and therefore should have experience with, and contacts to, the networks in the club's fan base.

They inform supporters about relevant decisions made by the club's management board and, in the other direction, communicate the needs of the fans to the board.

With the scrapping of AGMs and EGMs the current board of directors have left themselves exempt, excluded, unchecked, unaccountable and totally closed to any meaningful scrutiny and whilst on the one hand, the current CEO paints a very rosy picture of openness and transparency, his disdainful refusal to talk to a genuine and organised group of Evertonians tells its own enlightening story.

Whether the new UEFA article will carry enough weight to force Everton FC to do away with the current veil of secrecy remains to be seen but instead of going through the motions perhaps Mr Elstone will feel the need to address the real concerns of Evertonians before he is obligated to do so by the governing body of European football.

Right, have we signed anyone yet..............

 

 

Everton FC: Failure Rate Gathers Pace

If it were at all possible to measure an audible expression of an online community, then the collective *sigh* following Everton Football Club's latest commercial failure would surely have registered significantly on the well-worn 'sad-but-predictable' EFC failure rate scale.

If news that the planned '£9m' retail and hospitality development 'Everton Place' will now not open until the summer of 2012 came as no real surprise to long-suffering supporters, the cross-wired explanation emanating from within the club as to the reasons behind the 12 month delay, only served to re-enforce the general consensus concerning the powers-that-be at Goodison Park.

Addressing the concerns of shareholders, the club announced work on the development would begin in December 2010. Broadcast as being a 'cash-positive' project and at 'no cost to the club,' the four-storey building, incorporating a club shop, museum, café, corporate hospitality and administrative offices would be completed prior to the 2011-12 season. 

In November 2010 the 'Club Everton' hospitality tent was removed, followed quickly by the re-housing of the much-loved Dixie Dean statue in preparation for the commencement of on-site work. Alongside this, planning permission was applied for and obtained for land close to Goodison Park to replace the lost parking spaces at the Park End.

All systems go then, at least that's how it seemed at the time.......

In February of this year, with no visible progress having been made, shareholders were informed by Robert Elstone, that the delay was due to "minor legal issues,"  with the CEO giving reassurances that work would be starting "soon." Later that same month and somewhat ominously, Mr Elstone in his official blog expanded on this explaining that "We expect to start work soon as we wade through some complex legal matters."

[caption id="attachment_321" align="aligncenter" width="304" caption="Pie In The Sky?"][/caption]

On Wednesday March 23 and coinciding with the unexpected lifting of a local press ban, the Liverpool Daily Post and Echo reported that the development had now been delayed until the summer of 2012, 'the club say the complexities surrounding IT moves and office relocation make it sensible to avoid a mid-season move.'

According to the preposterously titled 'Head of External Affairs,' Ian Ross: 

“This has been the acknowledged target date for some time as operationally it would have been difficult to open it mid-season. All of our partners are happy with the current timetable.

“This is a complex project involving several partners which when completed will deliver a prestigious multi-use building, one which will unquestionably benefit both club and supporters.”

In a later edition of the publication, Mr Ross felt the need to clarify the clubs position by claiming his CEO's previous reasons for the delay, surrounding "complex legal issues" were in fact incorrect: 

'Today Mr Ross denied legal issues were the cause of the schedule change.'

Interestingly and 5 days in advance of Ian Ross' 'IT relocation' excuses published in the local press, the Everton supporters pressure group, KEIOC, reported a very different take on their website: 

'Further examples of this contemptuous relationship are numerous; shareholders were told construction of the boards latest solution to our inept commercial ability, the development at the park end, was due to commence in December, following the West Bromwich home game, yet nothing has happened.

The little known official explanation, that some minor "legal difficulties" are being experienced, is being offered, yet for some time now KEIOC's information, from their club source, has indicated that "funding difficulties" are the greater problem as, yet again, Everton discover that there's no such thing as a free lunch, that mysterious and unexplainable deals aren't as cash positive as one would like to think and that nothing is, dare we say, effectively free.

The fans and shareholders are, as ever, being kept completely in the dark as to the degree of concessions to our "partners," concessions that may benefit them greatly yet see us firmly at the bottom of the premiership club commercial revenue generation league; a result that highlights Everton's commercial performance equating to just 11% of our total income whilst our peers deliver double and treble this amount.'

[caption id="attachment_323" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="Hole In The Wall"][/caption]

Who to believe then? What excuse should we supporters plump for? Is there a 'delay' or a 'schedule change?' Are we backing CEO Robert Elstone and his "legal Issues" or getting behind Head of External Affairs Ian Ross and his 'can't find a decent removal company' story? Or, with rumours circulating of a construction firm 'pulling-out' of the planned development, are the "funding difficulties" suggested by KEIOC closer to the mark?

It would seem in any case and once more all to sadly and predictably, concerned Evertonians, due to the glaring mixed-messages coming out of the club, are left to come to their own conclusions......... 

 

  

Everton FC: How To Alienate Fans And Lose Supporters

On the back of the news that Everton FC have banned the local press, it turns out that 'the club' have decided now is the time to flex its muscles by threatening a number of its own supporters with legal action.

The initial information was released by Everton FC supporters site and forum NSNO. The site, officially recognised by Everton Football Club, were surprised and disappointed to receive an email from a Newcastle based law firm warning them to remove the moniker 'EFC' from t-shirts available to buy on the NSNO site, or face the consequences of legal proceedings against them by 'the club.'

NSNO were surprised to find out that 'EFC' was a registered trademark belonging to 'the Club' and disappointed that the initial contact on the issue was an email threatening legal action.

The owner of the site was clear that a simple and less costly email from 'the club' would have solved the problem without any threat of legal action. "The letters ('EFC') will be removed.  They would have got the same action if they'd sent an email themselves." I do take issue with the club feeling unable to contact me directly and rather using expensive solicitors instead.  A direct email from EFC would have just resulted in me taking down the t-shirts and carrying on, nobody would have ever known anything, because clearly no fucker wants to buy them anyway! haha!"

Apparently NSNO have sold just 3 'offending' t-shirts in the last 12 months.

The next supporters to feel the recent wrath of Everton Football Clubs internet snoops were Podcast producers Followtonians. As with NSNO, they are recognised by Everton Football Club as an unofficial Everton website and were similarly surprised to find themselves under threat of legal action by Everton Football Club.

In an almost identical situation, the people at Followtonians received an email from an image rights solicitor warning them to remove t-shirts from their site that featured any images of Everton Football Club players.

Further to this, it has emerged that Everton Football Club had taken the decision to disassociate itself from Followtonians due to one of its founders making his feelings known on twitter. Apparently and according to 'the club,' tweeting  “Fuck off, Howard” after a mistake that led to a Spurs goal and “Fuck off, Moyes” after he subbed Yakubu in the same match is tantamount to making personal threats against Everton staff.

The madness doesn't stop there! Only yesterday, the excellent The Peoples Forum was not surprised to be contacted by an image rights company by the name of NetResult, bizarre as it may seem, a forum run by Evertonians for Evertonians is not allowed to use the Everton FC crest as the Premier League owns all the image rights to all club crests. The forum host, Boardhost, received a similar email and The Peoples Forum was warned to remove the image within 24 hours or the board would be taken offline.

It seems someone at Everton Football Club has enough time on their hands to warn the Premier League that one of its supporters fora is in breach of image rights law. Which is very erm, vigilant of them.

Likewise, the Everton supporters website and forum Grand Old Team, after receiving a similar email has agreed with Everton Football Club to post the following warning to its users: 

'Our client (Everton Football Club) has highlighted Player/Match Action Images, Club Crests and Fixtures among the posts and as member’s avatar’s in your forum

I understand that due to the huge number of posts the tracking and removing of infringing images would prove difficult and very time consuming to perform.

A suggestion I have made with other football forums, is that when you do come across new images please take steps to remove them, but I would be grateful if you could routinely post a message to members warning them of the issues in question.'

 

 

[caption id="attachment_306" align="aligncenter" width="178" caption="Can You Tell What It Is Yet?"][/caption]

 



If you are a member of or are running an Everton supporters website/forum/facebook page/blog and currently find yourself scratching your head in disbelief, confusion and fear over what image/words/avatar you can or cannot use then you are just a click away from salvation. Well maybe:

http://www.ipo.gov.uk/types/tm/t-os/t-find/t-find-adp?propnum=0556745001

Who knows how many Everton supporters or their websites/fora have been threatened with legal action by their own football club? One thing is certain: 

Be warned, Everton Football Club is watching you! 

 

 

 

 

Everton FC: You're Banned

Sources at the Liverpool Daily Post & Echo (LDP&E)  have confirmed that a press blackout, enforced more than three weeks ago, remains firmly in place.

The banning of the regional newspapers, with hard-copy readership in the region of 100,000 and a combined online daily unique user figure of over 62,000, was imposed by Everton Football Club in the aftermath of a week-long series published by the LDP&E entitled: Everton FC in focus: Just what does the future hold for the Blues?  

The series of articles, which the club declined to participate in, focussed on the clubs finances, comment on the ongoing stadium issue, the 'search' for new owners and the fans view through a supporters poll.

Since then, the local journalists who have been denied access to players and staff as well as press-conferences, have had to make do with reporting second-hand news and mend by writing filler comment-pieces.

The current chairman and board of directors seem to have caught the banning bug; AGMs, EGMs, local journalists, all fair game for the current regime.  

The message from The Bunker is clear then; do not dare to criticize, analyze, question nor examine, refrain from inquiry, scrutiny and inspection or we will ban your arse brother.

[caption id="attachment_297" align="aligncenter" width="250" caption="Your Arse"][/caption]

In related news, the clubs official site has proudly announced they will be holding an exclusive Fans’ Conference in April.

Apparently, if you have already purchased your 2011/12 Season Ticket you could be one of the lucky 200 hand picked supporters who will be given the chance to pose questions to Chief Executive Officer Robert Elstone and a specially selected panel and 'talk about Club matters close to your heart' (local journalists and curious Evertonians need not apply). 

I'm preparing my question as we speak:

"Hi Robert, firstly can I say thank you for allowing us plebs to take up some of your precious time, we are not worthy.....and erm, could you tell us all whether Mikel uses gel, wax or mousse on his gorgeous Spanish barnet?"

Marvellous!

Nah! He's Probably Just Making It Up

The Liverpool Daily Post & Echo is up in arms, the Government you see have not only ordered condemned quango the North West Development Agency (NWDA to you and me) to sell off £50m plus of its assets, they have the brass neck to "slap" a "secrecy order" on the upcoming fire sale.

According to the distraught Daily Post correspondent, everything from Wavertree Technology Park, the famous Littlewoods building, on Edge Lane, and the Estuary Commerce Park, in Speke, including the National Bio-manufacturing Centre and the former aerodrome site could be sold as early as next month, crucially it seems, without the knowledge of local people.

The article goes on to claim that proceeds from these "secret sales" will no doubt go to "fill treasury coffers." 

Despite their best efforts, our reporter hits a brick wall of Governmental silence when rebuffed by business minister Mark Prisk, who repelled the enquiry with that old chestnut: “We have to be very careful around a whole series of commercial confidentialities. We have taken the view that, rather than get into part of the story, it’s far better to maintain confidentiality.”

Down but not out, our intrepid crusader dusted him/herself off and turned to posh, shocked and disgusted Wavertree MP Luciana Berger who "condemned" the "secrecy" so much, she has promised to table a Parliamentary question on the subject this very day.

The ConDems will be quaking in their brogues.

Despite this they should be applauded on their attempt to lift the lid on this particular story: Good work The Daily Post, huzzah!!

Meanwhile closer to home and in the wake of an abysmal FA cup exit, a sports reporter with a name made for journalism, Richard Askam, revealed exclusively on BBC's NW Tonight that Everton Football Club has been the subject of recent and numerous takeover attempts. In an interview with David Bick, the 'takeover advisor' disclosed he has been approached on multiple occasions by various people looking to buy Everton FC, he went on to claim that one particular bid was made by a "very serious investor" with "deep pockets." A bid David Bick says "went a long way down the track and then stopped." 



Obviously it is all a bit cloak 'n dagger this reporting on a possible takeover and no doubt there would have been, as with the NWDA report, assurances made based on 'commercial confidentialities.' To add fuel to the fire, when invited to respond by the BBC, Everton Football Club 'declined' the offer.

So, all very hush-hush then and so 'secret' as to be right up the (Old Hall) street of the Liverpool Daily Post & Echo's fearless investigators. After all, with a captive Evertonian audience desperate for this sort of news and the chance to move more copy, you'd imagine the journos and their editors in question would be clambering over one another to have a go at this particular scoop.

Well, nah. It seems that possible and multiple takeover bids for a world-renowned multi-million pound local business is not deemed newsworthy by the powers that be at the Liverpool Daily Post and Echo. Apparently David Bick, a man involved in the takeovers of many a football club, including Man City, could be simply 'making it all up.' 

Maybe Mr Bick has too much time on his hands, or could it perhaps be that the LDP&E's recent rap across the knuckles from Everton Football Club, has put the publication back into its well-worn place, as the loyal dog who once in a while steps out of line and gets a clip on the nose.....or something like that?

Daily Post & Echo
A quick mail from a friend of this blog to Richard Askam has confirmed that Everton Football Club had nothing to do with the information highlighted on the NW tonight report.

 

 

 

Can We Play You Every Week?

OK, you could be forgiven for not knowing that a german born astronomer, composer and short-term resident of Sunderland discovered Uranus but maybe not I'm afraid, for being unaware of Everton FC's excellent record against the Mackems at Goodison Park.

 

A quick glance (why not a normal look?) at the league table deemed that nothing but taking all three points against our bi-annual whipping-boys would have been acceptable. And so, with the Chelsea triumph afresh and the recent 7-1 mauling of  'Sunlen' still clearly etched in the collective Evertonian mind, all the signs were flashing 'WIN.'  

 

 

Bruce Almighty

Comfortable certainly wouldn't be a word to sum up Everton's season up until now but after the drama against Blackpool, the disaster at Bolton and the delirium of Stamford Bridge, it is a perfect way to describe this particular Saturday afternoon fare, alongside solid, functional, routine and my personal favourite; workmanlike. We could hardly have wished for a more cooperative opponent as Jermaine Beckford's double moved Everton into the top half of the table for the first time in 2011. 

No palpitations, no extra grey hairs and no kicking of any domestic animals were necessary.

Apart from the magnitude of Steve Bruce's middle-aged-spread, the result was also notable for David Moyes joining Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger by surpassing the milestone of accruing 500 Premier League points. No mean feat for a man who has worked under the financial constraints of the current chairman and his board of directors.

And so, with a very winnable Tuesday evening FA Cup tie versus Reading and a run of league fixtures against Newcastle, Birmingham, Fulham, Aston Villa, Wolves and Blackburn on the horizon, a season that only last week, was just a couple of minutes from receiving its last rites, has suddenly been kicked, workmanlike, back into life.

COYB.

Everton FC - the football club that keeps on giving..........

On the back of Saturdays marvellous win at Stamford Bridge, Everton Football Club has announced a price freeze on 2011/12 season tickets.

On top of that, if you book your seat at Goodison Park for next season before April 16th, you'll save yourself 20% by beating the early bird deadline.

In an impassioned plea that would bring a tear to a bedouins glass-eye, perma-tanned CEO Robert Elstone said:

'Perhaps the most powerful demonstration of fan loyalty is the purchase of a Season Ticket and that commitment on your part needs to be matched, as far as we possibly can, by us.

Fighting back the emotion, he continued:

'A key part of that is ensuring we offer value for money, something that's always been top of our agenda and something sadly even more relevant today with the 'economic squeeze' many of you are experiencing. With that at the forefront of our minds, and despite the increase in VAT, we have frozen all Season Ticket prices."  

 

[caption id="attachment_222" align="aligncenter" width="120" caption="CEO"][/caption]

 

Whilst the price freeze should not only be welcomed but applauded [given the state of the season, the unrest following another barren transfer window and the release of the 2009/10 accounts, you can't help imagining the uproar if there were to be an announcement of a significant increase] the slightly desperate and shamelessly patronising appeal from the ex-Deloitte man leaves a somewhat sour taste in the mouth. As a concept, the 'early bird' offer would make perfect sense if of course, the money was being <ahem> ringfenced for the managers summer transfer kitty. In previous seasons it obviously has not been and all too predictably, this year will be no exception.

Thankfully, the club have gone with the up and coming, future world-beating, superstar-in-the-making and most saleable asset Jack Rodwell as the 'face' of the COYB season ticket marketing campaign. Which can only mean that all the recent column inches about him being sold to Man Utd/Man City/Chelsea/Real Madrid in the summer, are nothing more than mischief-making bollocks from the usual red-top suspects.

 

Call me cynical? Call me an Evertonian.

 

Oh and feel free to complete this blogs headline in the comments section, I'll go for;

 

...............your money to the banks.

 

The Equalizers

Scenes of unbridled joy, a berserk release of mass ecstasy, a collective freeing of  frustration and dread, an uncontrollable urge to grab anyone within reach, hug them, squeeze them, kiss them and finally rag them everywhere -  whilst simultaneously roaring like a wild banshee on electric kool-aid - and all thanks to Leighton Baines magnificent 119th minute 25 yard left foot free kick .

In homage to LB's sublime last-minute-of-extra-time strike, there was a post yesterday on the excellent The Peoples Forum asking for Evertonian memories of late, late equalizers, which got my own recollection juices flowing. So, while the memorable triumph against Chelsea has momentarily allowed us to take our worried minds off the current malaise enveloping the club, here are four of my own personal memories [in the sense that I was actually in the ground at the time] of last gasp equalizers and as yesterday, the unique euphoric celebrations they brought with them:

And in Chronological order:

Everton's victory over Chelsea not only went some way in putting the 2009 FA Cup Final to bed, it also, by a Lampard proxy, may well have laid another ghost to rest:

5:  [@3.32]As a 10 year old I witnessed Bob Latchford's flying header in the 1979-80 FA Cup semi-final replay at Elland Road:

 

4: [@1.12] Kevin Sheedy's late free-kick in the 1984-5 FA Cup semi-final at Villa Park:



3: Gary Lineker's equalizer versus Luton on the plastic pitch in the 1985/86 FA Cup at Kenilworth Road. Well almost, I can't find the bastard so here is his goal in the replay at Goodison:



2: Tim Cahill's 86th minute leveler at Anfield in the 2008/09 campaign [thanks to Rob]:



And in honour of the 6000 who were there, straight in at number 1:

1: Leighton Baines unstoppable last-minute free-kick in the 2010/11 FA Cup 4th round replay at Stamford Bridge



Great goal, great day and hat's off to the 6000!!

 

Revolution Blues

In 2002 Gene Sharp,  a somewhat shy and very modest American academic, published “From Dictatorship to Democracy: A Conceptual Framework for Liberation,” a D.I.Y guide to overthrowing a dictatorship using non-violent means. His essay was translated into 24 different languages including Arabic, prior to being made available to download at no cost.

Now, almost a decade later, it seems Sharp's contrary 'non-violent means' theory has perhaps been established as the road to take to democracy.

We are not just talking Egyptians and Tunisians who have, with the help of Sharp's handbook, upended a violent and powerful regime here, amongst other oppressed peoples who have found inspiration and decisive strategic guidance through the humble political scientists work are the Burmese, Bosnians, Estonians, Zimbabweans and as we speak the protesters in Libya and Bahrain.

Reading through the press it is clear that Sharp is quick to dismiss any credit aimed in his direction "the people of Egypt did that — not me,"  likewise he is just as swift in his praise for the people, recently proclaiming the Egyptian revolution as "maybe the most powerful example of  'people power'  in world history."

Closer to home and on an infinitely smaller and less important scale, a small number of different 'groups' consisting of concerned Evertonians, have recently been set up. Their aims, if not their planned methods, are seemingly the same; a better future for Everton Football Club. One of these, brought together under the banner 'Evertonians for Change'  and despite warnings from many of the Everton online community, have recently received a disdainful brush off to their proposal of 'dialogue with the board' from CEO Robert Elstone. 

Watch This Space

Simultaneously, there have been calls for a 'protest' outside Goodison Park against the redundant Bill Kenwright and his feckless board. The rationale being that if our bolder and brasher (and maybe therein lies the problem) red cousins can get a properly organised and concerted protest together, why can't we? Could it be that our old friend Gene Sharp has the key?

'If these Evertonians wish to accomplish something, it is wise to plan how to do it. The more important the goal, the more important planning becomes. Strategic planning increases the likelihood of achieving your goal and only once all like-minded supporters and available resources are pooled together and mobilized will their aims be employed most effectively. This is especially true for all the separate and recently formed Everton supporters movements.'

OK, he didn't quite say that but you catch the drift........ in short, if you believe the time is right, then get it fucking together Blues!! 

Talking of Everton supporters groups, the secretary of KEIOC, Colin Fitzpatrick has submitted a follow-up article to his interview in yesterdays Liverpool Echo on ToffeeWeb. Essential reading for all Evertonians. 

 

 

 



 

 

The Invisible (Chair)Man

Despite the inevitable shouts of  'tell us something we didn't all ready know,' the series of articles concerning what the future holds for Everton Football Club currently being run by the Liverpool Echo, should at least in my mind be generally applauded.

If, like my good self, you happened to take more than a passing notice of the very recent Destination Kirkby debacle, and in particular the shameless one-sided reporting before the now infamous vote, you can not be anything but a little pleased by the current change of tack chosen by the local rag.

Don't get me wrong here, you'll find nothing earth-shattering within the articles, we know 'the club' has been slowly dying on its arse for years. Neither do I believe for a nano second that our very own Claude Rains will be knocking at the knees at the thought of the Old Hall Street hacks flashing their penlights in his general direction.

This being of course, in stark contrast to the Echo's use of WWII searchlights during their apparently relentless pursuit of 'Dem Yanks MKI.' It is nevertheless, a beginning.

[caption id="attachment_126" align="aligncenter" width="366" caption="AWOL"][/caption]

So far we've had a 'Supporters Poll,' the 'Experts View'  and on Thursday we'll be able to digest the 'Fans Having Their Say.' What we'll be afforded in Friday's edition is anyone's guess although I can reveal, as a certainty, that nobody representing 'the club' will be making an appearance. Despite an invitation to contribute from The Echo, 'the club' have issued a plea of  'no comment.'*  No great surprises there either then.

Thankfully 6000 Evertonians will be very much visible when they make their way down to West London for this Saturday's FA Cup 4th round replay with Chelsea. Notwithstanding the ridiculous 12.30 kick-off time, they've been warned by those awfully helpful chaps from Scotland Yard to 'turn up early,' otherwise they risk getting turned over big style by a wounded Chelsea team. Something like that anyway.

*there is an (as yet) unsubstantiated rumour doing the interweb rounds that the players
of Everton FC have been instructed not to speak to the Liverpool Echo. More on that later, or not.

Planet Everton

 

Apparently two very clever  astrophysicists; John Matese and Daniel Whitmire, who, when not blowing our collective minds are playing up-front for the University of Louisiana's over-the-hill-mob at Lafayette, have discovered a colossal new planet in the far reaches of our Solar System. At almost four times the size of Jupiter it is, to quote London's yoof of today 'fackin massive innit.'

According to the free-scoring boffins, who as of yet are still to observe the planet named Tyche, the titanic and somewhat shy ball of gas consisting mainly of Hydrogen and Helium, is 15,000 times farther from the Sun than the Earth and has been hiding within the Oort Cloud - itself a hypothesized spherical cloud of comets which may or may not lie approximately,  almost a light-year from the Sun.

Massive Blue

We may have to wait a year or two to see whether Tyche will officially be promoted to the Solar System Premier League (after the relegation of Pluto). It seems Louisiana's MVPs Matise and Whitmire are waiting on the data captured by NASA's WISE telescope, the analysis of which they believe will catapult Tyche into the big league of planets.

Meanwhile back on Planet Everton, the Liverpool Echo have this afternoon published its own data based on the findings of its week-long poll, enigmatically titled:

 

'Everton FC in focus:

Just what does the future hold for the Blues?'

More than 1400 Evertonians exercised their view by answering amongst other questions:

Do you want Everton FC to be sold?

Do you believe Everton will be able to retain their best players this summer?

Following the publication of the club accounts, do you fear for Everton's future?

To quickly summarise:

88% of fans do not believe enough is being done to find a wealthy new owner.

78% do not think the club will be able to hold on to its best players in the summer.

56% want the club to be sold, another 40% insist it depends on the identity of the potential owner.

87% say they've given up on a new stadium.

71% say they fear for Everton's future.

78% don't think club will be able to hold on to best players this summer.

There you have it then, a conclusive set of results as one could reasonably wish for but (and this is the problem with all polls) whilst they can be useful and even successful, poll results can and will be taken apart, dependent of course on which view you hold in principle. The inevitable bottom line thus being; polls remain a flawed medium. Having said that, it could be argued that it is not only the poll results but the change of focus from the local press that is of prime importance here. Continuing on from last week the paper is apparently running with a week-long series looking at the future of Everton FC and in particular the well-worn issues of the stadium and the club's finances.

No doubt, they will also roll out and dust down a token rent-a-quote 'expert'  (or two) who predictably, will once again attempt to bedazzle the plebs with their oh so very well-worn rhetoric.

[caption id="attachment_99" align="aligncenter" width="298" caption="Expert"][/caption]

Just for balance like.

Wild Wild West

I suppose it is a little known fact that back in the 19th century, over a quarter of a million people departed Wales in search of a better life in the USA. A significant number of these intrepid pioneers, in search of fertile land to farm, chose to join the wagon trains moving west. The violent and vicious  James Gang of whom Jesse was the most infamous, were in fact direct descendants of those adventurous taffies.

Of course,  for anybody who has ever had the pleasure of visiting Wales, stories of  bar room brawls, sheep rustlers and bandits will come as no surprise. 

Talking of Welsh cowboys, ex-Everton midfielder Barry Horne has come out all-guns-a-blazing in the defence of the current custodians of Everton Football Club. According to 'Bronco Barry,'  who has obviously been twatting the Wild Turkey, Evertonians should 'trust the leaders with the club at their heart' as in Barry's world they are'the key to progress.'

[caption id="attachment_61" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="Close To His Heart"][/caption]

You'd have thought, given Horne's Everton FC experience and the clubs current on and off the field condition, the last thing he would be promoting in the local press was 'more time' for a patently redundant chairman and his feckless board of directors. Perhaps Barry feels he has a duty to remain faithful to his ex-employers or maybe it is a question of wild west genes. As the old cowboy proverb says: 

"Before cussing the boss, saddle your horse....."

"YeeeHaaaw"

 

 

Legacy - Kenwright and the Porn King

The recent shenanigans concerning which of the multi-millionaires would be handed the prefered bidder status of  the Olympic Stadium put me in mind of another great lost opportunity: the failure of Everton Football Club to secure a state-of-the-art stadium for a relative pittance at Kings Dock.

Look At The State Of That

Now that would have been a legacy to be proud of for our very own darling of London's West End, Mr William Kenwright CBE. Unfortunately it turns out that every other word excreted from his mealy mouth proved to be well, shite. A distraught and broken man, Kenwright was never seen to darken our door again and a long-term plan to redevelop Everton FC's spiritual home, Goodison Park, was implemented. Leading to the iconic and unique stadium the team thrives in today - or did I dream that last bit? Ah well.....

Back down in The Smoke, Daniel Levy was pissing himself laughing at the worst idea since the invention of the helicopter ejector seat: the hair brained notion that a running track must be retained at the Olympic Stadium. Now the 'appy 'ammers have been given the nod, he's very thoughtfully demanding legally binding guarantees that the running track remains, which is nice.

Anyway, not to worry. Once the Porn King's wet dream goes tits up it'll be left to the tax payers of London to pick up the bill. Some things really are that inevitable.